This just in:

Santa has been arrested in New York City. Following are the details.

While strolling down Broadway, Santa was heard saying, "Ho! Ho! HO!". A New York police officer nearby heard Santa and promptly arrested him for solicitation. Upon reaching the police station, Santa was questioned and things went downhill from there.

When asked what he does for work, he stated, "Kids sit on my lap and tell me what gifts they want from me. I tell them if they've been good, I'll give them something but if they've been bad they get coal." Santa was then charged with child molestation, contributing to the delinquency of a minor and extortion.

When asked how he gives them the gifts, his response: "I wait until everyone is asleep, then I go down the chimney." Charges of breaking and entering were added.

When asked how he gets around, his answer: "I have a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer. We travel around the world delivering gifts all in one night." Animal cruelty charges were added and the Humane society confiscated the reindeer. The FAA is considering charges of flying without a license.

When asked how he gets the toys, his response: "Well, my elves make them." He was then charged with running a sweatshop.

It is not known at this time if Santa will be released on bail. Stay tuned for further info.

Santa's Elves Arrested at Protest (Fictional Fun)



With Santa arrested, the elves had to act fast
for Santa in jail would just ruin Christmas.
They went to the courthouse in their elf suits and shoes
and started to protest with shouts, jeers and boos.
“Let Santa go! Give us our Claus!”
From the crowd that had gathered, erupted applause.
The elves shouted louder, “Let Santa Go!”
Til the police came and said, “Now everyone go.”
“We won't leave without Santa!, bring him out NOW!”
The police gave a warning, the elves had to go.
The elves were determined, here they would stay
and so here's what happened this very sad day.
The hundreds of elves that showed up for the protest
were all then arrested and charged with civil unrest.
Down to the station the elves then were sent
as every news station broadcast the event.
Each elf was booked, with mugshot and prints
and given a jail uniform but none of them fit.
So down in the jail we see in the cells
one hundred elves with their suits lined with bells.

Santa Released



The reindeer had heard the commotion and knew
that they had to act fast, and so Rudolph flew.
Away from the shelter, escaping the gate
on to the North Pole, before it's too late!

He flew without stopping, his nose burning bright,
and he finally landed, using the last of his might.
The crash as he hit the door of the workshop
brought Mrs. Claus running, holding her mop.

On the door of the workshop, Rudolph lie in the snow
too tired to move, yet his nose still aglow.
Mrs. Claus scooped him up and brought him inside
to get warm by the fire as ice covered his hide.

Rudolph then told Mrs. Claus where Santa was held
which was also the location of all 100 elves.
He told her of Dasher and Dancer and Vixen
and the rest of the reindeer in animal prison!

Once Rudolph was rested, Mrs. Claus got her small sleigh
and off to the city they hurried that day.
She went straight to the Mayor's office, demanding a word
refusing to leave until she was heard.

The Mayor opened his office and invited her in
as he stroked the whiskers of his very white chin.
Mrs. Claus was quite smart as she pleaded her cause
for the release of the deer, elves and Santa Claus.

He at first was unmoved until she hit a nerve
when she mentioned the voters of whom he served.
She asked, “What will they say with Santa detained,
no reindeer, no elves – how will you explain?”

As the Mayor stopped and pondered a Christmas without
dear Santa Claus and the gifts he gave out,
the voters would point to the Mayor as the cause
and he signed a quick pardon for the elves, deer and Claus.

Mrs. Claus gets Merry



After all the commotion of Christmases past,
Mrs. Claus was exhausted and flopped on her sash.
She took a few sips of some wine, then some more
and emptied the glass as never before.

Though nary a drinker, rarely ever a sip,
the wine was so tasty and took off the nip
from the cold north pole winter, snow blowing outside.
Her toes were still frozen from the recent sleigh ride.

As she sipped and she sipped, first one bottle, then two,
her toes became warmer, her cheeks rosy too.
She was giddy, quite merry, a right jolly old elf
and she danced round the room with the ‘elf on the shelf’.

The joy that she felt was too much to contain
so she burst from the house singing merry refrain.
The elves came to see what could be the matter
why was Mrs. Claus making such a loud clatter.

As they gathered around, she took that as a sign
that her music was perfect, nothing more than divine!
The elves were befuddled, didn’t know what to do
as the music continued, and much louder too.

Santa came back, and hearing the sounds
saw Mrs. Claus singing, with the elves gathered round.
A gasp from the crowd as they watched transfixed
while Mrs. Claus did a pole dance and Santa took pics.

She then started to twerk - Santa’s eyes growing wide
as the old gal had moves that were greatly inspired.
He broke through the crowd as her dance came to an end
and when they got home, she passed out in the bed.

The next morning her head pounded and throbbed
as a sly smile had formed on the face of Mr. Claus.
As she sat to have coffee, Mr. Claus looked quite merry
and he started to chuckle, his cheeks red as a cherry.

While she sipped at her coffee, Santa got out his phone
and flipped through the videos, finding just the right one.
He chuckled, quite merry, hit play and then winking
gave her the phone which she watched without blinking.

The video was trending on YouTube that day
and Mrs. Claus didn’t know quite what to say.
Never again did she touch any wine,
but she kept to her Carols, which to her was just fine.

So clever....

 

 

Here's my review,

as I'm sure you will see,

the rhyming fun it will bring to you, to many and to me.

 

 

Enjoyed every line as the tale entwined.

I found it quite funny the elves,

had no choice and could only wear bells.

And to my astonishment, Mrs. Clause was quite firm,

as she voiced to the Mayor her only acceptable terms.

The mayor had no choice but to comply,

as Mrs. Clause was too stern as he could no longer try.

Mrs. Clause has also imbibed on too much wine,

as telling of her sensational twerking time.

Although, I don't think Mr. Clause minded,

as his video and photos were much aligned,

with the use of Youtube, and the success of the views,

the Clauses were now famous, but for more then Christmas

news.

LOL nice review! thank you! Very clever to keep with the rhyme. 

Why thank you! It was fun to do ;)